Cuelinks

Tuesday, October 30, 2018

Karan Johar, The Agony Uncle

While I drove to my office cutting through the organized chaos on a regular basis and suffering mental agony, the only source of retaining my mental sanctity, was listening to some soothing music. It helped me lower my rage towards the fellow commuters who at will drove their so called vehicles in all possible directions giving scant respect to others. My overly abusive mind slowed down and instituted some sense in me. Thanks to the radio channels playing some lovely music. Though there are a few FM music channels wherein the RJs talk incessantly and that too crap, playing music if they get time between their perennial lip service. This only added fuel to the fire, my burgeoning road rage. This bullshit forced me to drop some sarcastic tweets to the RJs who made my life miserable. Gods took pity on me and accidentally introduced me to a channel which played only music and no marathon shitty chats by the RJs. Since then I was all ears to this melodious radio channel. My commute life to office improved for good and my murdering rage gave place to love and empathy for the fellow commuters. Life was beautiful until an advertisement at a regular interval started bombarding, promoting a self-proclaimed “LOVE GURU”, an agony uncle advising love birds on their love life. His first season being an instant hit??? only confirmed my belief that there are multitudes of dumber's, oafs, jackasses all around us. Let’s delve into the second season of this buffoonery.

Love, Life n Locha

Karan I am a married woman and I had a love marriage, everything was fine until my love life turned sour, my prince of my dreams suddenly became a mama’s boy, what should I do? I am disturbed.

Karan I found my boyfriend sleeping around and when confronted he denied saying it is all crap and rumors. I am sure he is a culprit, but I am in  a fix, please help.

I am married for 2 years but since last 8 months or so I and my husband are sleeping in different rooms, there is no conversation or physical intimacy between us. Please help me.

A husband complaining, my wife ignores me since giving birth to our first child, she simply does not have time for me to converse, leave aside physical intimacy. How can I bring back my wife from motherhood to being my wife?

This is a gem - I am a lovely romantic girl having a very sober boyfriend. Many a times I feel like having fun (she meant sex) but my boyfriend simply rejects my idea. What should I do?

Karan, I am a great fan of your romantic movies and I know, only you can solve my problem. I am going steady with my girlfriend and having great time, until my ex came into my life, now, I don’t know whom to say YES or NO. I know you have handled many such situations in your films, so please advise on my predicament, conundrum.

Rationality, What animal is it?

I got to hear all these humorous problems from Dumbo’s who took the Agony Uncle program named "Calling Karan" too seriously. Karan Johar is not complaining at all, he is laughing all the way to the bank, minting money by discussing people’s love problems.

First n foremost I don’t believe in the premise that Karan Johar is advising the lovers on their love problems because he has made some hit romantic movies which had loads of romance, love and melodrama and that he has great mastery in handling the emotion of romance and love in his movies. He understands love and its intricacies like no other. If this was true, then the Ramsay bros famous for making horror movies, would be good at exorcism and they would be the best bet in advising people on driving out spirits from their homes, or rescuing people possessed by evil spirits or ghosts. Or for that matter Hitchcock would have solved many a mysteries which otherwise are still an enigma.

What baffles me the most is the fact that rationale thinking is becoming a thing of past especially with generation Y. Also it is understood that we don’t wash our dirty linen in public, isn’t it?