Yeh khatti mithi Jindagi

I am sure you all have experienced many funny, interesting incidents, anecdotes in your lives. I am no different.  I had the privilege of experiencing many such incidents since my childhood till date. Whenever I think of these stories, incidents, it brings a smile on my face and wonder how could this happen, but c’est la vie I suppose. I am chronicling some of these incidents for you to enjoy, laugh at (I hope). Please note these are all real stories and not works of fiction; for some of them are really bizarre.

Story 1 – The wrong song

Date: sometime in mid-nineties

Place: My home in Pune

Time: around 9:00 am

I heard the doorbell ring, without any procrastination I opened the door to see my neighbor standing at the door. She is a lady in mid-thirties, pleasant looking. We exchanged pleasantries and then she requested her apartment keys. It’s a norm in many apartments, wherein every family has one pair of their apartment keys handed over to the neighbor, to be used in emergencies. That’s how we were safeguarding our neighbor’s keys with us. I dutifully said yes and headed towards the showcase which was at the other end of the room to collect the keys. At that moment the radio mounted in the showcase was airing a program on classical music and the teacher was teaching the students Raag Kafi. A melodious raaga with many Hindi film songs composed in it. Now I being in my own world (I am always) suddenly started singing a song composed in this Raaga (I know a little bit of music.) from the film chashme badoor. The song was Kali Ghodi dwar khadi khadi re, Kali Ghodi dwar khadi khadi re not realizing my neighbor was still standing at my dwar. I continued singing it for a while. There were 2 reasons I think that saved me that day.

First, may be she was in her own world and did not hear the song that I was singing or

most importantly she heard it but ignored it because she was very fair and thought this song is not meant for her, but for someone who is kaali. Believe me, embarrassed I handed over the keys to her and shut the door immediately; thinking what would have happened if she felt that song was directed at her. But I was lucky, and the cordial relations between both the families were intact and continue till date.

Now this was sheer coincidence that she was standing at the door and I sang that specific song at that moment. Whenever I recall this incident, I wonder how come such a coincidence (dangerous coincidence) happened. But as I said earlier, that’s life.

Story 2 – Hawa ka zhoka all the way

Date: sometime in mid-nineties

Place: somewhere on SB road, Pune.

Time: late afternoon.

I was in a good mood that day (I am always) driving my vintage moped, heading towards my friend’s place to do some maja masti. The distance was good 7-8 km from my place. When I was about to race my moped I saw a guy asking for a lift, I being a Good Samaritan promptly stopped and gave him a lift; as the place he wanted to go was on my way. We chit chatted all this long. He was a waiter in a hotel somewhere on law college road. We parted as he expressed his gratitude and I continued my journey.

No sooner than I had driven for 5 minutes I saw one other guy asking me for a lift. He had a big sack on his back with an engineering drafter in it. I took pity on him as he was doing his engineering it seemed, and who better than me, knows what engineering is all about. That apart he sat on my moped which was going at a speed of 10 km/hr. and that embarrassed me great deal. We again chit chatted and he told me he was going for his engineering drawing class. I dropped him at the desired location and wished him good luck and drove off. Now I had crossed law college road and was on Karve road.

Again barely few kms and one more guy asked me for a lift. I wondered if “Lift Wala” is written on my forehead, that every Tom Dick Harry is asking me for a lift. I obliged and gave him a lift out of humanity. He was a student doing his commerce at Symbiosis College and was heading home. As usual, chit chatted and dropped him at his desired place and drove off and reached my friends place.

I told this entire saga to my friends gathered there. They asked so what? I am sure you all would also ask me the same question, what is there to mention? What is so unique about it? It was a unique experience for me at least, for all these 3 guys were having name “Sameer”, so one Sameer helping 3 other Sameer’s one after another. Isn’t it unique? My friends were shocked and said this is one off coincidence and I agreed wholeheartedly.

Story 3 – The Virago

Date: sometime in late-eighties

Place: Video parlor in my locality

Time: Evening time.

I along with my friends used to hang out at this place which was a video parlor cum coffee shop cum eatery. It had nice ambience and we used to love it. I had a membership at this video parlor and used to regularly rent video cassettes. The owner of this joint was a thirty something women who I have never heard speak softly. She was shouting at everyone all the time at the top of her voice. That fateful day she was seating at the counter and I happen to browse through the video cassettes. All this time, she was chewing her nails, in between shouting at the people working there and giving cold stares to one and all.

I selected a cassette and approached her. Now I don’t know if I was naive or plain ignorant as I said to her, “Aunty muze yeh cassette chahiye”. All hell broke loose; she got incensed when I called her aunty, a bad word for most of the women, girls. I had hurted her ego big time, had drilled a big hole in it. She jumped out of her chair and shouted at me “Do I look like an aunty” “Do I, Do I tell me.“ “You look like my uncle.”

I was stunned by her violent out bursts and I had nowhere to go, except out of that parlor. I sheepishly left the place deciding never to return, at least when she is around. My friends standing out heard this dual and laughed heartily. I remember that day as a day when I had insulted a nari by calling her aunty. Henceforth whenever I had to rent a cassette, I used to see if she is around and then decide the next course of action. I had no guts to face her again, a Virago.

Story 4 – I didn’t do anything

Date: sometime in early-nineties

Place: Joshi hospital, Pune

Time: Early morning 6:30 am.

My cousin was seriously ill and was admitted to Joshi hospital. We all brothers used to stay at the hospital in the night to look after him and then leave early morning when someone from the family arrived. That day was no different; I had not slept the entire night as my cousin’s health had worsened. My uncle arrived at the hospital and so I left, tensed. When I reached the parking area it was all lonely, I pulled my bike from the stand and was about to drive away, suddenly I saw this man just next to me, parking his vehicle. This man was our engineering professor. I recognized him and greeted him. I asked him what brought him to the hospital; he lunged forward and said with a lottt of surprise on his face, “Don’t you know my wife is pregnant!!!”, this was a shocker, not because she was pregnant, but he expecting that I should have known it. At least his expression made that statement.

Now, how on earth will I know that she is pregnant? I had never ever asked him updates on his nocturnal activities, nor he had declared to us nine months earlier, that because of his diligent and sincere efforts his wife is going to bear a fruit in so n so month and that the time has arrived. Nor, I was responsible for this happy news :). So this entire expression of his was baffling and I did not know what to say.

One thing might be the case, he had illusions about him and his wife being a celebrity, and that media was desperately following series of events in his life, including his wife getting pregnant etc. and so everybody must be aware of this. This was one of the most bizarre experiences I would say. I was speechless. I simply congratulated him and drove my vehicle, laughing. This incident did one thing though, even though it was temporary, it brought a smile on my face and released my last night tension a bit.

Few months when I saw him in college he recognized me and smiled at me. All the years when I was in the college, every time I would see him, I would say this in my mind, sir I didnt do anything!!!

Story 5 – Coincidence galore

Date: sometime in year 2002

Place: My friends place

Time: Evening time.

That day I along with my friend was having a chat near his house. After few minutes a guy approached us, he was my friend’s friend. My friend introduced me to this new arrival and he left to carry out an errand. Now two unknown people were in each other’s company. Somehow we managed to start the conversation, and it continued for a while. This made us a little comfortable in each other’s company, which prompted him asking me where I stay. I said Model colony to which he quickly replied even he used to stay there.

I was not going to be left behind, my next question to him, where buddy? To which he replied near Om super market; a small expression of surprise initiated on my face and I replied with lot of eagerness, even I stay there.

This surprise element had started to creep into him, as well, and it was noticeable, his next question, where exactly near Om super market? I said you know Jain boarding or Shrikant Kirloskar's bungalow, I stay in front of it. Now now the surprise element was about to burst as he said, my god even I used to stay there!!!

Now it was my turn to express surprise, shock, confusion all at one go. I told him I stay in Sumukh Society; even before I had completed my statement he simply jumped with joy, he couldn’t believe that I was staying there.  He was dumbfounded.

He fired the next surprise bomb, buddy I used to stay in the same society. Now I was dumbfounded, startled, flummoxed, perplexed and much more. I thought how come I don’t know if he stayed there, as I have been staying there for long. I controlled myself and asked him where in Sumukh society?

Now whatever he said was absolutely remarkable, he said he used to stay in flat no. 6. I smiled took a long pause and told him that’s my flat. We both simply could not believe this series of coincidences which culminated into my apartment. He then narrated to me; the tenants staying there were his relatives. Then I got to know, we had rented our flat to one of my father’s friend while we were residing in nagar. He continued, during his engineering exams he used to stay in the flat with his relatives as it was very calm and quiet. After this give and take of sorts we both were laughing and enjoying this coincidence.

I am pretty sure such a coincidence is an extraordinary thing, isn't it?

There are many more such incidents but I think "thode main maja :)". I hope you enjoyed reading them and that it tickled your funny bone.