Saturday, February 15, 2014

Queen’s Language Simplified Or…..

English is a phunny language as they say and indeed it is, though it’s spoken by many across the world. I think the popularity of the language besides the things political and historical are; it has absorbed words, sentences, phrases from other languages into it, be it Latin, French, Greek, Indian etc. The Queen’s language as many call it has gone through a sea of change and like a caring mother it has embraced all these changes; but the latest onslaught on the language is coming from the innocuous chat enthusiasts or compulsive chatters you can say. The chat lingo used is ruling the roost and twisting / simplifying the queen’s language. Now you will know what I am trying to say. The other day one of my friend’s brother in his teens wrote an email to his dad, and it looked like this.

Hi Dad,

I hope u r doing f9. Wen u would be cmng home?  Lemme tell u the reason 2 write 2 u. We all frnds are planning 2 go 2 Goa to a10 a friend’s b’day party and it would be v 9ce if u give me the reqd permission. I promise I wld be careful and not do nything nasty. It’s a gr8 chance 4 me to mingle wid my new frnds. M studying well and u need not worry. Last week we had sports in our college and I ran xpress in 100 meters competition and won the race. M the nxt Usain Bolt of the college. I also wanna let u know something about our teacher, I ha8 her for she is very ago9zing. She punishes every1 tym n again n so I ha8 going 2 college. Rest f9. I luv u. ttyl.
Bes8 Regards

My friend told me, reading this email the father almost collapsed not able to comprehend the English. Isn't it so true? Many a times we don’t get the lingo used by many people in chats and this is spilling over in our day to day communications. Now here is the challenge, should this be accepted officially? What say? I personally think these new terms and the lingo should be made official and should be added to Oxford dictionary or should be addressed in any of the forum which is responsible for making English what it is today. The new age chat enthusiasts worldwide should come together and pressurize in accepting their inventions and making them official. I think there are so many advantages of this new lingo. I have tried to list the most important ones below.
  1. The new generation need not remember the original complicated spellings and instead can easily remember these new creative ones.
  2. Their creative pursuits will be aptly motivated helping them come up with more.
  3. No American boy or a girl will fail in spelling bee competition, though it will be a threat to Indians who have dominated it since last 5-6 years.
  4. Amalgamation of alphabets and numbers in words makes it look so stylish and modern.
  5. Most importantly, with this new age shortened words, less paper will be required; In turn it will help in saving more trees from getting felled. This will contribute to maintaining a correct balance in the ecosystem which is fast eroding. In short it will be a great service to the mankind and the posterity.
Isn't it simply amazing? Unknowingly these compulsive chatters are doing so much for humanity. They are the new age philosophers, scientists, innovators. I would further add they should get Nobel Prize for doing humanitarian work. This will be the ultimate tribute to their inventions. Sometime I wonder what might be the genesis of this new age English
  1. Is it the internet or
  2. Some lazy fools who hated writing in English or
  3. Was it a case of serendipity wherein while exchanging secret info, armies stumbled upon this creative English?

Whatever may be the trigger one thing is for sure the purists and English aficionados are fuming no bounds and have predicted the demise of the queen’s language very soon. With more and more people addicted to net and social media sites, this carnage of English will continue unabashed. I won’t be surprised if in due course English language would be reduced to a code language and would no longer remain the Queen’s language which is spoken widely and lovingly.

This creativity has already creeped into many English homes, the country where the language originated. The English are faring very badly in the language and they attribute this
linguistic erosion to the new age chat lingo or the lingo which is popularly used across many social media sites. I wonder what the great William Shakespeare would have said of this new language; he would rather kill himself than read or listen to this “Khichadi” English. God was so kind in retiring him to the heavens long ago before the advent of this creative English. William Henry Davies would have also said “No time to read and listen to this cheap English” along with “No time to stand and stare”. Charles Dickens would have authored another book named “A Tale of two Englishes” besides “A Tale of two cities”. “Helen Keller” the celebrated American author would have thanked god thousand times for making her blind and deaf for she would not have weathered this English Carnage. 

All in All the famous English poets, writers would have vanished with this onslaught of creativity, like many people vanished due to plague, but I think the contemporary English poets, writers; novelists will have to use this new lingo in their writings to attract the young generation, who is fed on this staple diet of creative lingo, or be ready to have their writings off the shelf soon.

The British might soon have to make changes to their National Anthem and sing “GOD SAVE THE QUEEN AND OUR LANGUAGE….."


  1. Nice one. Enjoyed reading it, especially your allusions to all those literary bigwigs. Why didn't you bring in Bernard Shaw too? He was so fastidious about the English language that he left a substantial part of his savings for improving the language. Wonder how his ghost must be turning in his grave seeing the new lingo in India.

    1. Thanks Tomichan for your kind comments. I am happy that you liked it. Actually Forgot about GB Shaw :). The English themselves are facing a lot of problems and their kids are faring very badly in their own language, thanks to the onslaught of this new creative lingo.


Add your comment